So Not Dead

Welcome Lambaround and Sir Thrift-a-lot and thanks for following this crazy blog of mine. It's like I've got over 40 friends - way more than I have in "real" life.

In my last post, I put beloved 60 Minutes commentator Andy Rooney in an early grave. He is still alive. That old stopwatch is still ticking. He is in his nineties. Well done!

I'm always shocked by those year end lists when I hear about celebrities who died during the previous year and I never heard about it. Conversely, there are some celebrities that I'm sure are dead, but they may actually be alive.

Here's my list of people who seem like they should be dead. Maybe some of them are.

• Phyllis Diller
• Ruth Buzzi
• Lane Stanley/Scott Weiland
• Kirk Douglas
• Rita Moreno
• Ann B. Davis (Alice from The Brady Bunch)
• Al from Happy Days
• Farley Mowat
• Wavy Gravy
• Sonny Rollins
• Gavin MacLeod (from The Love Boat)
• Bobcat Goldthwait

If you want to see who's dead or alive - check your names at http://www.whosaliveandwhosdead.com I didn't check the names above, but I suspect they're all alive, if not kicking.

A Pile of Stuff I Can't Stand

I've been having no luck making it to thrift stores lately. And when I do, I find nothing worth buying. It really is starting to feel like I'm going to have to wait until I can get to a small town to find good stuff. Even still, I'm not sure. My folks live in St. Catharines, a mid-sized town near Niagara Falls. The prices and selection aren't always terrific there either. Heck, they even have a silent auction at the Goodwill down the road from them. My dad has been known to bid on items there. I often see nostalgic Fisher-Price toys from my childhood, but I can't bring myself to get into an auction situation.

March is here and that can only mean that in two more months the weather will be mild enough in Toronto for yard sales to start up again.

Since I have no great finds to share, I thought I'd share some stuff I can't stand. Andy Rooney must be rolling in his grave.

• Quick edit movies, TV shows, and commercials. It's style over substance that makes me want to grab a tri-pod and clobber the director. This style of editing is so early nineties NYPD Blue. Boring.
• People who get on a bus, sit in front of you and start talking loudly on their cellphone.
• The smugness of the Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper. How about leading our country instead of stalling parliament until you can get the opinion polls just where you like them? Stop phoning in your leadership.
• Oprah, Dr. Phil, and that creepy Dr. Oz guy. I'm sure they all started out with honest intentions, but the sensational programming is too much to take, so I just don't watch these shows.
• Medical studies that everyone starts changing their way of living for, only to have another medical study come out a few months later contradicting the findings. What ever happened to "eat a balanced diet and get some exercise?"
• Being forced to listen to "easy rock" while waiting at the dentist's office.
• People who have no sense of boundaries e.g. people who cannot pick up on your body language or tone of voice that it's time to go or get off the phone.
• Clusters of people who stop at the top of escalators to talk, oblivious to the meat-packing conveyor belt of people trying to get off.
• Celine Dion. We don't need to hear about your fertility woes. If you really had wanted to have another child, you would have made it a priority instead of playing Caesar's Palace for all those years for all those millions. Money talks...
• Celebrities, politicians, and professional athletes who make fools of themselves and then hire damage control people to help them save face.
• When you go out of your way to do something nice for someone and they don't have the courtesy to acknowledge it.
• Discovering something really good and then it feels like everyone else discovers it and the magic is lost.
• Being a person who's generally happy and then being interrogated on an off-day for not being cheerful.
• Being forced to watch commercials before movies begin.
• Seeing cool actors and musicians featured in magazines and then discovering that they've been "dressed" in $2,000 jeans.
• Discovering that one of your favourite products has been discontinued.
• Humorless celebrity chefs with massive egos.
• Drivers who don't indicate before turning.
• People you work with who create a competitive atmosphere rather than a collaborative environment.
• People who snap at you for things that aren't your fault.
• People who forget what it's like being young.
• Those who belittle seniors.
• E-Harmony dating commercials. I'm happily married and these gooey couples blathering on about how happy they are even make my bile stir. I'd hate to be a single person forced to sit through these. Hit the mute!
• 10-minutes-of-fame useless celebrities such as Jersey Shore players. Go away!
• Too much information culture of rehab rehash, etc.
• When my cat crawls on my black pants just before I'm ready to leave for work.
• Fruit flies.
• Unsolicited advice. Today a colleague started lecturing me about drinking too much coffee.
• Canned laughter.
• Canned vegetables.

Ahh. I feel better now. I could go on, but I better not. What are the things you can't stand?

For the Canadian Olympians

Apart from baseball and the Tour de France, I normally don't go for athletics, nor do I go for people sweating it out for supremacy. Nevertheless, you have to admire the athleticism see during the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. There were some very special moments and I'm really proud to be Canadian right now. Great men's hockey game today. Of course Canada won. I'm not sure if I'd be saying how wonderful the game was if the U.S. had beaten us, but there you go.

Here's a band you probably haven't heard of if you don't live here. I'm not the world's biggest Blue Rodeo fan (my buddy Barb is). Still, there's something magical about this song and video. I love how they capture the cold, lonely feeling of a Canadian night without resorting to cliché. I know the land and I can almost taste it. I just remember all those snowy days spent driving past kilometers of trees on our way up to my childhood cottage. It's the iron in the soul.

Erin

Happy Birthday Ken + Song of the Week #35 Blondie "Hanging on the Telephone"

Today's my husband's birthday. Here's a very cool song for a very cool guy. XXX OOO - E

Our Fifties Kitchen Table Hath Arrived!

Our fifties kitchen table arrived from Manitoba this week. This afternoon Ken and Duncan drove out to a warehouse in Brampton and picked it up. I love my boys! When I got home for work, this gorgeous table and chair set was waiting for me. Please excuse the mess. Explanation to follow. If you're interested in ordering a set for yourself, or if you just want to drool at cool furniture, go to http://www.fabuloussavings.com/retrodinettes/ It felt good supporting the Canadian/Manitoban economy and getting some wickedly cool furniture in the process.

We were given choice for seat covering and table finishing. We chose soft yellow over the turquoise because we liked the yellow and we felt that the turquoise was a bit too classic/predictable. It was still pretty. The back legs arch out, so you can't rock/tip back on the chairs. Elegant.

Strong and sleek.

Oops, this picture didn't rotate in the right direction. The finish is a muted grey with subtle yellow and pink textures. Click to enlarge and get lost in fifties splendor.
As you may recall, we gutted our kitchen back in the summer. We've been living in a demolition/renovation project since then. Basically Ken has had to rebuild the entire kitchen from the ground up, because the walls and ceiling were all bowed from old age. He's had to build false walls, re-stud, and put in new electrics. We've done most of the drywalling. Now we have to finish it, plaster and sand, and paint. After that, Ken can hang our new cupboards and install our new counter tops. He's also redoing the plumbing and installing a new sink, dishwasher, and putting in new flooring. He's amazing. I'm so lucky to be married to a man who can do it all. The only problem is finding the time to do it all in the working week. It will be worth it in the long run.

Stay tuned for a completed kitchen.

A Perfect Yard Sale Day & Song of the Week # 34 "God Bless" by Lamb

Imagine your perfect yard sale day. You wake, rested. It is a Saturday in early June. The air is warm and fragrant.

You start the morning with a delicious breakfast of dark roasted coffee and toast with honey. In the next room, your son says something remarkably witty for his age, making you smile.

He's watching Popular Mechanics for Kids and he begins telling you about magnetism. "Oh, I think I just heard Dad get up." Oh joy! You remember that your husband finally has a Saturday off work. He can watch your son as you hop on your trusty bike and head off looking for treasures.

You take off down the road, entering a dream-like trance on your bike. This doesn't look like the streets of your town. Where are you? You see a mysterious house with a tiny sign that reads, "Content Sale - All Items Must Be Sold." You lean your bike against a tree and wander in.

You can't decide if you've wandered onto a film set, or found yourself in the house of someone who died a long time ago. The first thing you see is a box filled with Art Deco rings and brooches - including a watch brooch. You've always wanted one of those. The sign says, $10.00, or your best offer. Feeling guilty, you pull out $20.00, but still, no one has appeared. A creaking sound comes from the second floor.

On another table lies an assortment of rare Pyrex items including an indigo-coloured vaporizer from the 1960s and a crimson casserole dish still in its original box. In another box, you find an assortment of black and white family photos. "Free to a Good Home." You are about to enter the kitchen, when a pale elderly woman appears. "Hello. Do I pay you?" She sits down on a coffee table. "If you wish. I just don't want to see any of this anymore. You're doing me a favour by taking it away." You want to ask her what her name is and find out about the house. Instead, you give her $40.00 and thank her. She smiles and shuts the door behind you.

You peddle down the road, still not sure where you are. At the end of the road, you see a stately white house on a hill. You've dreamt of living in a house like this. People are milling about at the back. The owners are selling off things like vintage glassware, sewing baskets, and handmade pottery. An umbrella stand catches your eye. "Hello. How much are you selling this for?" A man in grubby jeans and a trucker hat smiles. "Oh that old thing. My uncle bought that back in the fifties. It's probably worth a lot, but you can have it for five bucks." You squint at him. "Really?"

"Why, is that too much?"

"No. I thought you'd be asking more."

"Well, I'd buy it if you like it," he chuckles. "Or I might ask for more." You give him a fiver. Just on your way out, you spy the toy of your childhood - the Holy Grail of Fisher Price toys: Yes, it's the Fisher Price A-Frame with all the original accessories. A piece of masking tape is stuck to it. The price is $2.00. You give the scruffy man his money and as you get on your bike, you begin crying as all of your happy Fisher Price childhood memories come flooding back to you.

By this point, it's noon and you're hungry. A few blocks down the road, you spy the perfect sixties greasy spoon burger joint. You stop in for a Square Boy burger with onion rings and a Coke float. Bliss.

You realize that the sales will all be finished for the day, so you get on your bike to return home. Still not entirely sure where you are, you see a little log house down a side street.

Like Alice in Wonderland, you can't help but walk in the open door. Nothing is for sale, but an elderly potter sits by the window, reading a book. She should be calling the police, but instead, she invites you in to show you her sculptures. Her name is Vivian and she is in her eighties. She puts on the kettle and makes you a cup of tea. You talk for hours about art and nature. She shows you her garden and picks some vine roses for you to take home. After thanking her, you go outside and lie on the marshy grass trying to figure out where you are and how to return home. You pick up your bike, but it's laden with treasures and your heavy backpack makes peddling wobbly. You cycle down the muddy path behind the potter's cabin and a trail takes you into the woods. Dusk begins to fall.