Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Punishable By ...

"Dude, where's your manners?"
A few minutes ago, I thought I'd nip out to water the plants on my porch and enjoy the pleasant breeze and late day sun. Just as I picked up the watering can I heard the unmistakable sound of nail clippers in action. Clip, clip, CLIP! I glanced over two houses down to confirm my horror. Yes, one of the dudes who lives there was sitting out on the porch happily cutting his fingernails completely oblivious to social norms and me - his nice neighbour who takes care of personal hygiene in the bathroom like regular folk. With a nauseous feeling stirring in my stomach, I put down the watering can and ran over to the garden hose. I ran down the driveway and with the water turned up to Olympic levels and began soaking the tomato plants in the backyard. 

After a good five minutes, I returned to the front of the house only to see and hear the porch troll cutting his toenails - this time in the company of his roommate who wasn't about to let his friend's grooming get in the way of their conversation. 

I believe that anyone caught clipping in public should be sent away to Plum Island and forced to read everything written by Miss Manners. Entry back into civilization will only be granted when the offending person writes a 2,000 word essay on the importance of grooming in private spaces. They must also pass a test on the subject and promise to never cut finger or toenails ever again in public. 

Thank you,
I feel better now.


  1. No...No..No...No.....Nooooooooooo!!! Oh god, that makes my skin crawl! Once I had a friend from out of town who came to stay at my house with her new boyfriend. I woke up one morning to find him at my coffee table cutting his fingernails and letting the clippings fall on my magazines!!! Ohmygod.

  2. Why, God? Why!!?

    <3 Jackie @ Let's Go Thrifting!

  3. Fingernails are bad enough, but toenails? Gross! I once accompanied a friend and her dog to the vet, and while waiting for the vet in the exam room, she took out a nail clipper and proceeded to clip, gasp, her toenails!!!! In a sterile room!!! What's wrong with people? I didn't say anything, but I should have!!

  4. Ewww! So nasty!

    I hate it too. I've seen clippers on the TTC & even one clipping away at the grocery store I work at!

    EW! I can't even stand the noise of my boyfriend cutting his fingernails, let alone a stranger.

  5. My best pal had a French boyfriend that SAVED ALL HIS TOENAILS. He had a quart jar half full when she dated him EEYEW EEYEW EEYEW.

  6. I can't even begin to comment. It's making me sick just thinking about it- icky!

  7. Hubby does this and I dont like it. But I suppose him doing it in the back yard is better than him doing it in the bathroom and leaving his mess on the floor for me to tread in :)

  8. I've seen and heard a man clipping his fingernails in church while waiting for mass to start!

  9. the worst is when you're on the bus and someone decides to start clipping their nails....ewwwww... outdoors is gross but if they're on their own property I *suppose* I can live...but still...that's just NASTY


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I'm a slightly off-beat Toronto-area teacher who enjoys writing and photography. I come from a family of collectors and now I'm dragging my own family around to yard sales. It's just a bit of fun. Enjoy the scenes.