Sunday, December 19, 2010

People Who Got Into Heaps of Trouble or Were Annoying

When I was a kid, there was a show called "The Most Important Person." I don't remember the show at all - only the Me Generation theme: "The most important person in the whole wide world is you and you hardly even know it..."
Hey look - it's on YouTube, just like everything in the universe.
Check out the first 27 seconds. You totally won't regret it. I remember the girl wearing the eye glasses who is ham-fistedly painting something.

Back to the end of 2010. This is the time of year for "year in review" lists. I thought that I'd round of a list of people who got in trouble this year - or were just plain annoying. The purpose is to make you feel glad about being you when you realize that you're not them.
Enjoy and feel free to add anyone I missed.

  • Julian Assange. He's all over the news these days. I'm mildly fascinated by him. Just when I think "Rah, rah. Stick it to the man!" I read something unsavoury about him and I'm not sure if I should be ordering a Free Julian t-shirt just yet. Regardless, I'm glad I'm not him because he had to spend a few days in a dank English slammer in isolation all because of his wedding tackle - OR WAS IT?
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Assange works the Mary Tyler Moore hairdo. Someone buy this man a beret to toss. Nobody will know it's him. Shhh...
  • Next up is Adam Giambrone. I know, I know. For those not living in Toronto or Southern Ontario, you must be thinking, "Who's he?" To save my typing fingers, I've copied and pasted his Wikipedia blurb. It's my "Wiki leak" of another no good man with plumbing control issues. I don't even want to repeat what he did that destroyed his career in politics. I'll just say that I hope the sofa at City Hall was Scotch Guarded. Read these few paragraphs and you'll wonder how unintelligent someone as smart as Giambrone could be.
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Adam Giambrone (born March 8, 1977) is a Canadian politician who was a Toronto City Councillor, representing the southern of two Davenport wards. Elected at 26, he remained the youngest member of Toronto council after re-election. He is also a former president of the federal New Democratic Party. He is the 2008 recipient of NOW Magazine's "Best City Politician" award.[1]

An archaeologist by training, Giambrone has participated in excavations in Sudan, Tunisia, Libya, Yemen, and Guatemala.[2] He speaks English, French, and Arabic fluently.[3] He is of Italian-American ancestry, and his father moved to Canada to avoid the Vietnam War.[2]

As Chair of the Toronto Transit Commission, Giambrone has led the largest-ever expansion of bus service in Toronto, and seen record transit ridership. Giambrone secured over $8 billion in new funding to build light rail into areas of the city currently not served by rapid transit.[4] An expansion of two subway lines also forms part of an overall $18 billion long-term expansion plan driven by Giambrone.[3]

On February 1, 2010 Giambrone announced his candidacy to succeed David Miller as Mayor of Toronto in the 2010 election,[5] as the leading progressive candidate, showing second place in early polls.[6][7] Giambrone exited the mayoral race on February 10, 2010 amidst a sex scandal and he did not run for re-election for his council seat.[8][9]

  • I guess the next group would be the stars of pointless reality shows, famous for being tacky or over-breeding. I can't even bring myself to watch these shows, but these "everyday" folk are so overexposed that you can't even make it through the checkout line at Shopper's Drug Mart without having them stare you in the face from the cover of tabloids. So be gone Snooki & company, teen mothers, Kate and 8, and that family with 18 or 19 kids.
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Please take your bronzer and find a nice, secluded log cabin far from the TV cameras.

  • Miley Ray Cyrus, Lindsay Lohan, and Taylor Swift. Alright, the last one stayed out of trouble, but is it possible for celebrities to date people who aren't celebrities? As for Lindsay Lohan and Miley Ray, why don't they take up a craft instead of drugs? Think of the beautiful sweaters they could make if they put the bongs away. Miley Ray must be in so much trouble with her parents right now. Just be glad you're not her. Totally grounded.
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Kind of makes you long for the good old days of Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.
  • Lady Gaga has become really boring due to overexposure. When she gets into trouble, it seems more like old-style Madonna manufactured controversy, rather than loose cannon stuff. If you watch her in interview, she comes across as utterly humourless and she has a major diva complex. Go away for awhile and make a new record.
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Yes, we get it. You're edgy.

Well, I'll stop there. I may add more as the spirit moves me. I'm already thinking about the Italian Prime Minister.
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Thanks for reading and go to sleep confident that you're a good person and not annoying.


  1. Great post - agreed on all points. Every time I think of the family with a million kids I can't help but think of that picture with their family portrait bearing the caption "Vagina - It's Not a Clown Car" beneath it. Wish I had come up with that :)

  2. Hahahaha! Love this almost as much as you had fun writing it!


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I'm a slightly off-beat Toronto-area teacher who enjoys writing and photography. I come from a family of collectors and now I'm dragging my own family around to yard sales. It's just a bit of fun. Enjoy the scenes.